Mothering
I have been a mother for ten years. The Boy is about to turn ten, and I count time in womb, so technically, I would say I was a mother longer really. And then, I do count the babies I lost as well, because that was time loving a child inside me as well. So, really, I have been a mother much longer than ten years when you add it all up.
And then there is this little thing in my life that happened to prepare me even more called infertility. I had many years of waiting on a child. I had many years to read books, observe others parenting skills and form my own ideas of how I would be as a mom.
When I finally got down to the business of parenting years ago, I made mistakes. But I proudly say, I did many things right. Not because I had read books though. I did things right because I placed my child in God’s hands and I humbly asked for guidance from HIM to parent. And ten years later, I am touched that many people in our life consider my son a well mannered, intelligent, well rounded, sweet, loving and funny kid. He has never been in trouble (outside of small irritations in our home, but even those have been minimal). He has never been mean to other kids. And I don’t worry about taking him out in public or what his grades will be when his report card comes home. He’s a GOOD BOY. 99% of the people in my life tell me so, so I don’t consider it bragging to say it, I again (humbly) just feel it’s a fact.
But 1% think different, or well, find my parenting skills lacking, and have made issues of some of them. They raised some concerns, and perhaps I took issue to it because of the approach that was taken, but just the same, it got me thinking. We all do the best we can do. We pray our kids will turn out right. I pray my child will choose to follow Christ one day, because I know that will make his life better, and ultimately bring him eternal life. I try to give him the tools he needs. I try to guide him. That is all I can do.
I have a son who is a beautiful combination of his father and his mother. He has mathematical and logical skills of his father. He has his mother’s passion for art and is full of emotion. I treasure every part of his personality. If I were to judge him by all those parenting books I read 17 years ago, or maybe a childhood development class, I might think something was flawed in him because he wasn’t perfect by a pie chart, or following a preset pattern some psychologist deemed appropriate. Instead, I choose to see him for who he is. I choose to relish each trait that makes him himself. And for every emotion he exhibits, and for every skill he develops or maybe even doesn’t, I see an individual pie chart. One with HIS name. One God made just for him. No one is like him in this whole world. No other mother was meant to be his. He was placed in my care, and while others may think they know what is best for him, God entrusted him to me. I don’t take that honor lightly, and I am doing the best I can do.
Over all, I’d say things are turning out pretty darn well. I’m not a perfect mom. He’s not a perfect kid. But we work well together. Perhaps I was less than open to criticism lately when someone came to me and suggested my parenting approach was all wrong, but I guess I just feel like I have done few things well in my lifetime, and when I look at that boy, I see one thing I did fairly well thus far.
My prayer is that W. and I will continue to put him first as we always have, and that he will continue to grow into the man God wants him to be. As I look back on his life, I do see mistakes, but I see so many triumphs and joys as well. I am so proud of the person he is, every part of him.
